


Worthy

by litra



Category: For the People (TV 2018)
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related, Episode: s01e010 This Is What I Wanted To Say, Flashbacks, Gen, Purpose, you are worthy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 14:04:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17982494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra
Summary: "Are you worthy?"Judge Nicholas Burne asked that question four times a year. He almost never gave an answer.





	Worthy

"Are your worthy?"

Judge Nicholas Byrne asked that question four times a year. Once a quarter when new district attorneys and public defenders were sworn in. It was a right of passage, or at least he hoped it was. It was something to get the young, passionate, and foolish people standing in front of him thinking. This was New York. They stood among greatness, and on the shoulders of giants.

No one had asked him if he was worthy all those years ago when he'd been sworn in as a prosecutor. Looking back he wished someone had. It was an idea too often lost sight of back then. He wasn't sure it was all that different now. For so many people being a prosecutor was just a stepping stone. A starting point to a political career most often, or sometimes a way to vent their anger and viciousness. For some people it was about setting policy, the hope that they would get the right kind of case and force their views into laws. 

Nick had never been a public defender but he figured it couldn't be all that different. There were a rare few like Jill who stuck it out. More of them lasted a few years before burning themselves out. They moved somewhere quieter. They found other jobs where they thought they could do more good. Some became activists, or worked on the campaign trail. Some became reporters. Some faded into the woodwork. 

When he'd been on that side of the bench his plans hadn't been that different. He'd been determined to right the wrongs of the world. Then he'd actually seen the wrongs of the world. He'd been knocked down a peg, then two and three. Tina had looked him in the eye and told him to get over himself and do his job.

He hadn't understood, not back then. It took years for him to understand that this wasn't a game.You won or lost cases, but you never kept score. That was disrespectful to the people you were representing, the laws you were upholding and the legacy you were the heir of. 

He'd said those exact words that night with Tina and his wife, snow piling up outside as they got drunk. His wife had hummed. Tina had declared she never should have introduced them.

"Legacy. You wouldn't be thinking about legacies if you weren't trying to start one of your own." Tina gave both of them pointed looks.

Nick wasn't sure if the heat in his face was from a blush or from the alcohol. It was one of the only things he remembered about that night. Legacy and not being worthy, and the snow slowly piling up. He managed to hold onto the thought when the snowplows came by early the next morning. He managed to hold onto that thought through his next case; the first win that month. 

He'd sat in the courtroom on another snowy evening long after everything had been decided. Tina had finally come to find him so he wouldn't get locked it.

She had looked at him and said, "Today you were worthy."

He had been a prosecutor three years at that point. 

He'd thought about running for mayor, or some other office, maybe taking one of the offers at a law firm, but that case had changed things. The United States Vs S. Drake; It was a case no one else would remember.

Now he was a judge, and in his own way he tried to pass on that revelation to whoever he could. There weren't many who understood. Every year two or three would hear him. They would fight. They would win and loose, then they would hit their stride. They would stand up in his court and he would see a light in their eyes. Sometimes their back would straighten as they came in, feeling the loss of the day before but not letting it hold them down. Sometimes they would look down at their papers, adn tip their head, even though they were sure to win.

When Sandra Bell stepped into the elevator late on that spring evening, she had a stedyness to her that he hadn't seen before. He watched her reflection in the polished doors.

He asked the question, are you worthy, four times a year, but it was rare that he said someone actually was. A few people had pushed him, demanding recognition, and he'd had to tell them they weren't worthy. That was more common. 

Sandra didn't speak as the elevator dropped. He didn't think she needed to hear the words to know the truth, but then again, she had earned them.

"You are worthy," he said, and stepped out of the elevator. She made no response that he could see.

Nick though back to that day in court when Tina had told him the same thing. It had felt right then, and this was the same. He headed for the parking lot with a smile tugging at his lips. 

 

 

 


End file.
